Monday, January 2, 2012

Morning Wood Moday, in the evening....

Warning - Soapbox speech incoming...
He is either giving a passionate speech or a drunk strip tease...or maybe a drunken speech strip tease...

I recently ran across a long article expounding on the ever increasing industry of straight-turns-gay porn.

This clashed in my mind, when I read another blog of a man who was deciding not to visit his family for xmas for the first time in years, because he no longer wanted to "pretend" in front of the kids in the family. He and his husband had been asked to act straight for years so as not to influence young minds...

I was suddenly in a shitstorm of anger - at his family for not really loving him but instead loving the illusion they forced him to portray (in essence not only denying him himself and his husband but wanting it to not exist) - and at my friends and community members for their own internalized issues and chasing of straight men and straight acting men... once I stopped spinning, I decided to blog about it.

The sexy straight man part of it at least...

Admittedly many of these "straight" men are hot looking. Masculine, big dicks, overly sexual...I get it.

Just - personally - while I can wrap my mind around it, I don't truly understand the constant and deep allure they have to so many other gay men. Yes, they work for a quick wank fantasy, but does anyone really want them - and in truth aren't they really simply bisexuals? Some of them claim to use viagra to get it up, but if anyone has ever used viagra, you know it doesn't work that way, you still have to be both horny and turned on -which totally turns their stories of being gay-for-pay on it's collective head.

I have gay friends who chase the illusion of a "straight acting" man and some are always moaning about how they are in love with some straight guy. Personally, I wouldn't give a wooden nickel to watch it and I think it is delusional and a form of self loathing to chase after completely unavailable men like this.

Cute, plays gay, is straight. Yeah, I get it, spank bank material...

Now, I understand fantasies are just that - fantasy - not real, not going to happen, and sometimes all the more hot because it of that. So if this particular fantasy really turns your crank, watch it and love it! However - don't go too far with it - don't turn it into a lifelong pursuit of something you can never attain.

Trying too hard? lol

John Ballew says it well in a much longer article, but this excerpt captures the heart of it -

"Since gay men are attracted to other men – duh – a certain amount of testosterone is inherently attractive to gay guys. A gay man is a man’s man! Not a problem unless we fetishize hyper-masculinity. Many of the qualities that lead us to see a man as manly may make him a great sexual fantasy, but a questionable candidate for a flesh-and-blood relationship.

Successful relationships typically require an ability to empathize or support your partner when he needs it – qualities that are more often associated with women than lumberjacks or fighter pilots. Sometimes our first choice for a sweaty fantasy isn’t our best choice for a partner.

We gay men wound ourselves when we learn to think of masculinity as something that resides outside of our own selves when we see other men as masculine, but not our selves. This is more likely to happen when our view of masculinity has become too narrow and too focused on physical parts (the size of this or the amount of that). A broader sense of what it means to be a man can allow us to cultivate other masculine qualities in ourselves: the ability to take action, for instance, to master tasks that are important to us (regardless of whether that task is changing a tire or cooking a fabulous coq au vin), to pay at least as much attention to developing our inner strength as to inflating our pecs." (excerpt from the article "Gay Men and Masculinity", by John Ballew of

This is just hotter to me, knowing they are gay and enjoying what they are doing.
To me, there is so much more hotness to be found in watching openly gay men have hot gay sex. That doesn't mean they always have to be hyper masculine like Harry Louis or Francios Sagat,(both total hotties imo), they can even be to more effeminate or even androgynous men having sex - the point is they aren't pretending to be something they aren't. The reality of it for me is what makes it hot, even though the reality is still fantasy. Did I just turn my thoughts in a knot? Wouldn't be the first time.

Gay men having sex with gay men. Men who fully embrace who they are, refusing to pretend to be something they are not? Now that is hot - and there are so fucking many hot men to fantasize about that are out and proud and gay...

TV anchors
Hot models
Hot actors
Hot Musicians
Hot hot hot Porn stars
Seriously - why would anyone settle for second class sexual citizenship when you could have men who don't have to pretend to be something they are not?

I encourage men to embrace their masculinity - go for it, no holds barred - but don't shrink from the other side of yourself and don't chase a lie and hope it will make your life or family happier. You are the one who loses in the end, and who wants to lose when the game is so easy to win?

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